The 12 Day Countdown to 24; What I’ve Learnt, Day 11

Today is day 11, which means tomorrow I turn 24! Woot Woot! Lockdown birthday in progress!

So whats Day 11’s lesson? Friends come and go, and thats okay because no doubt you learnt something valuable from these people. They’re just heading off to teach someone else something important without them even knowing it too.

What does this mean?

When you go through life you meet so so many people, people you thought you’d know forever and people you thought you’d never lose touch with. But as you get older you son realise your primary school besties may not be your besties for the rest of your life. But in this, you had fun with these people, they taught you different things, and now three off to influence other people with their good vibes too.

These are the people I love meeting in life. their vibes are immaculate, nothing but good energy, and you know what if you become distant it’s not because it’s sour or wrong. They’re just ready to teach someone else their values and experiences the way they did you, even if you don’t even realise it. A lot of the time we don’t until we look back at memories with these people and think

“Yeah, that was actually really great, and so was he/she”.

BUT there are also friends who will teach you other valuable lessons in friendship and negativity. Not every friendship is smooth sailing and unfortunately it can take its toll on you and maybe even then. You’re teaching each other something, and although it maybe how not to talk to people or how not to treat people. You’re learning none the less, but the freedom you’ll feel once these friends go, whether you make the decision to go or they do. You’ll come away feeling better in more ways than one thats for sure.

But remember, friends coming and going doesn’t always mean they don’t like you either. It’s natural to drift apart and go on separate courses of your life, everyone is following their own path and adventure. This was another anxiety issue I really struggled with, why does this person not want to talk to me? It’s not that they dislike me, maybe we are just at different stages in life. That acceptance is so important to learn too.

Life is all about learning, and the people and friends in our life teach us a lot more than we realise! Whether they’re in your life still or not, it doesn’t matter as they helped you grow in some way or another. And you can either say thank you, or fuck you.

The 12 Day Countdown to 24; What I’ve Learnt, Day 9

So day 9 is upon us, what do I have to say to that? You can’t please everyone. Thats the lesson learnt for day 9.

What does this mean?

For me being the anxious person I am I find I focus a lot on making other people happy, and when this doesn’t happen or I feel like this hasn’t happened, I worry I’ve upset someone/said something wrong and I honestly fester on it for days and days worrying about it. The thought of even making someone feel this way makes me feel so defeated in everything I want to stand for.

BUT, I also realised that this really wasn’t healthy for me to obsess about it the way that I do. It actually really became an issue for me.

At the end of the day. I am going to do things in my life that not everyone might agree on. Whether it be decisions made for work, for going back to university, where I live, the way I live my life, my small habits etc. Realistically, it’s my life. I can live it any way I choose, and although I love to have other people in mind when I do things. I can’t always please everyone or make everyone happy because everyone has such different standards and expectations to mine.

And this is okay.

It’s just really nice to remind myself that every now and then I might piss someone off, but I’m okay with it because as long as I’m happy, its their problem not mine.

You cant please everyone.

The 12 Day Countdown to 24; What I’ve Learnt, Day 1

So in 12 days I am 24, March 12th. The fact I’m turning 24 is scary in itself. So to honour another year I’ve decided to write small blog posts on what I’ve learnt in my life before turning 24 years young, things that I feel are really important for me, and maybe for you too!

So for Day 1 of 12 I wanted to talk about Self Love and Self Care.

Self love and self care is something that can be really difficult for different people. As someone who is anxious as hell, I found that I spent a lot more time worrying about my friends, family and work than I did myself. I didn’t realise how much this can affect you if you don’t just sit down and take time for you.

I realised I needed to start taking time for myself half way through my final year of uni about 2 years ago. I was so overwhelmed with my dissertation, my girlfriends, living with 12 people, I also lived with my boyfriend and worked throughout, as well my friends from work. It was really full on and I didn’t realise until 7/12 flatmates moved out, this was due to being international students living with us for 3 months, that I hadn’t actually stopped since getting to uni in September. I started getting back from my morning shifts at work and lectures at university and spending the afternoon/some time on my own, watching TV, reading my book, just getting that me time. I felt like after this I enjoyed my time with my friends a whole lot more. I’d had that time to myself, time to relax and re-charge and you forget that you need that time. I also really felt that it helped my productivity in the library, at work and also generally as well.

It made me realise, ‘Hang about, I’m onto something here‘.

Then we moved out of uni and I still wanted to be able to keep this up and do this for myself. I really got into reading again, which I still am now if you’re a follower of my blog! I moved back in with my parents and with my boyfriend (we were only due to be there for a year before we moved to Australia, but COVID happed about halfway through our year. Goodbye flights to Australia). I wanted to make sure I still had my me time especially with a new lifestyle and job. A long shower, a quiet evening with my book, catching up on my favourite TV shows and taking time away from my phone was still an essential. I still to this day ensure that I do these things and it has been SO Beneficial to me.

I feel like it is so SO important to remember to do these things for yourself. Do things that help you switch off and wind down, at the end of the day, You are the biggest love of your life. My motto I say regularly. You NEED to listen to what your body is telling you, rest your mind if its running 100mph. Rest your body if you’re running literally everywhere. Say NO to going out if you aren’t feeling it, get in bed early, stay up late and binge watch your shows. Do what makes you feel happy and comfortable and recharged.

Write yourself a self care checklist and do it all in your own time. When you are enjoying your own time there is no pressure of everything around you, there’s just you. You only have to please yourself. For me my favourite things are to exercise or go for a walk, I love to sit and read my book and in doing so switching off from my phone at the same time. I LOVE a hot and long shower. I also every morning read positive affirmations! Positive affirmations hold a lot of importance for me. I read 4/5 every day and share the ones I feel I can apply in my day but also so others can see them and hopefully think the same!

Take the time for you, look after yourself physically and mentally. Like I said, you are the biggest love of your life and nothing can change that , no person you’re in a relationship with or your friends and family. You’ve only got one body, heart and brain in this life, cherish it and look after you. Be selfish, it’s absolutely fine to do so. You are a God/Goddess, don’t let anyone tell you otherwise.

Keeping Positive: Some of my Favourite Positivity Quotes

Staying Positive, especially with everything that is happening at the moment, is seriously important. When I wake up in the morning I like to post positivity quotes on my Instagram every day so that you see a nice reminder of something happy or different to think about, just incase you’re having a shitty/down day, including myself.

I feel like with the end of Lockdown and isolation in sight but COVID sticking around for the long run, sometimes things can get scary and overwhelming. I struggled with anxiety and lockdown hasn’t been the easiest, but it has been a lot easier than I thought it would be which is one positive! Trying to start the day with positivity is something I hold quite important. My happy mornings start with a cuppa tea and a book! I feel I’m ready for the day afterwards. Do what makes you feel better and best, There is nothing better than a self care morning / afternoon / day.

I wake up ad usually scroll on my IG Feed as it is all such good vibes. I like sharing those vibes so its not just me hopefully feeling a little bit better. With everything happening right now I felt a dose of positivity was needed!

Here are some of my favourite positive and happy quotes, I hope you like them too.