The 12 Day Countdown to 24; What I’ve Learnt, Day 11

Today is day 11, which means tomorrow I turn 24! Woot Woot! Lockdown birthday in progress!

So whats Day 11’s lesson? Friends come and go, and thats okay because no doubt you learnt something valuable from these people. They’re just heading off to teach someone else something important without them even knowing it too.

What does this mean?

When you go through life you meet so so many people, people you thought you’d know forever and people you thought you’d never lose touch with. But as you get older you son realise your primary school besties may not be your besties for the rest of your life. But in this, you had fun with these people, they taught you different things, and now three off to influence other people with their good vibes too.

These are the people I love meeting in life. their vibes are immaculate, nothing but good energy, and you know what if you become distant it’s not because it’s sour or wrong. They’re just ready to teach someone else their values and experiences the way they did you, even if you don’t even realise it. A lot of the time we don’t until we look back at memories with these people and think

“Yeah, that was actually really great, and so was he/she”.

BUT there are also friends who will teach you other valuable lessons in friendship and negativity. Not every friendship is smooth sailing and unfortunately it can take its toll on you and maybe even then. You’re teaching each other something, and although it maybe how not to talk to people or how not to treat people. You’re learning none the less, but the freedom you’ll feel once these friends go, whether you make the decision to go or they do. You’ll come away feeling better in more ways than one thats for sure.

But remember, friends coming and going doesn’t always mean they don’t like you either. It’s natural to drift apart and go on separate courses of your life, everyone is following their own path and adventure. This was another anxiety issue I really struggled with, why does this person not want to talk to me? It’s not that they dislike me, maybe we are just at different stages in life. That acceptance is so important to learn too.

Life is all about learning, and the people and friends in our life teach us a lot more than we realise! Whether they’re in your life still or not, it doesn’t matter as they helped you grow in some way or another. And you can either say thank you, or fuck you.

The 12 Day Countdown to 24; What I’ve Learnt, Day 9

So day 9 is upon us, what do I have to say to that? You can’t please everyone. Thats the lesson learnt for day 9.

What does this mean?

For me being the anxious person I am I find I focus a lot on making other people happy, and when this doesn’t happen or I feel like this hasn’t happened, I worry I’ve upset someone/said something wrong and I honestly fester on it for days and days worrying about it. The thought of even making someone feel this way makes me feel so defeated in everything I want to stand for.

BUT, I also realised that this really wasn’t healthy for me to obsess about it the way that I do. It actually really became an issue for me.

At the end of the day. I am going to do things in my life that not everyone might agree on. Whether it be decisions made for work, for going back to university, where I live, the way I live my life, my small habits etc. Realistically, it’s my life. I can live it any way I choose, and although I love to have other people in mind when I do things. I can’t always please everyone or make everyone happy because everyone has such different standards and expectations to mine.

And this is okay.

It’s just really nice to remind myself that every now and then I might piss someone off, but I’m okay with it because as long as I’m happy, its their problem not mine.

You cant please everyone.

The 12 Day Countdown to 24; What I’ve Learnt, Day 5

Day 6 of Lessons I’ve Learnt in the run up to 24, Say Yes, but not to everything. But also, It’s absolutely okay to say no.

What does this mean?

I find that a lot of the time when people ask me to do something I will jump straight away and say yes, because why not? Live and let live, enjoy your life and go out and have fun with everyone and everything life has to offer. BUT, from saying yes so much it can cause you to completely burn out. You don’t have to say yes to everything and thats okay. Friends invite you for drinks but you’re mentally exhausted and also can’t afford it. They tell you they’ll pay for your drinks for you. Thats really lovely and all, but you can still say no. You have to think about number one, and that is you.

It is okay to say no. Say it with me. IT IS OKAY TO SAY NO.

SAY IT LOUDER FOR THE PEOPLE IN THE BACK.

Being a yes person is really nice and exciting because you do so much and see so much, but its absolutely okay to say no as well. You need to take time to yourself and do other things for yourself. This links back to Day 1 explaining how important self care is. They all interlink in some small way or another.

I also know that sometimes it isn’t that easy. Some people get a little off with you or a little funny with you when you say no, and honestly? Fuck these people. It’s something they have to come to terms with themselves. But I also understand at the same time it is situational. If you say no to something thats been planned for week, then yes I can appreciate there will be backlash from it. But at the same time, it’s something I’m sure would be taken into consideration before the decision is made.

At the end of the day, You have to think about what you want out of it and how you’re feeling! If you’re down, say yes, if you’re not, say no.

And the best part? You don’t have to justify why either (but thats for Day 6).

The 12 Day Countdown to 24; What I’ve Learnt, Day 3

Day 3 really closely coincides with Day 2. Day 2 was that everyone is on their own journey in life, including yourself, and not to be so hard on yourself and where you’re at . Day 3 resonates closely with day 2 because the lesson I’ve learnt in partner with this is that where you are at in life does NOT define who you are.

So what does this mean?

For me, the fact I am not currently in a career I want to be in doesn’t make me lazy, demotivated or not driven. People will try to judge you based on where you’re at in your life and might even compare you to where they’re at. I hate the elitism that comes with this. Friends saying they’ve got more money than me because they work harder and earn more. Good for you for starters, thats amazing. But so what? Because I earn less than you or am working less hours doesn’t mean I’m anything less of a person with goals and aspirations.

Im currently sat in my hotel job and I can only imagine people think I’m still in it because I want a cushty life. For starters, there nothing cushty about working in hotels and I’m sure everyone who’s done it will tell you. Customer service is a BITCH. But, I’m also a bad bitch. I’m still in this job because it works for me right now. It doesn’t define me as a person who’s settles for the sake of it. In fact, it doesn’t define me at all.

Just because you want what you want doesn’t define you. Just like what others want doesn’t define them.

Another one of my personal favourites is, “So you still haven’t made it to Australia then?,” Uh, there is currently a global pandemic happening, so if you could tell me how you expect me to be there right now I’d appreciate that a lot. What I don’t appreciate is the judgement that comes with it. I’m a bum who doesn’t want to work and that BAFFLES ME. I want to EXPLORE, there is SO MUCH MORE to life than sitting at a desk every day, and yeah it might make you happy but it won’t make me happy! And that DOESN’T DEFINE ME AS A PERSON.

I can be hardworking without the aspiration goals of working 70+ hour weeks or the typical norm of what is seen to be right. I feel this lesson can be very person specific and situational, and I feel that it is not my aspirations in life an my goals that define me as a person because My personality does that for me. And when you meet me you can take from that what you will. But don’t ever judge me based on what I want in life, and don’t let anyone ever do the same to you.

KNOW YOUR WORTH.

The 12 Day Countdown to 24; What I’ve Learnt, Day 1

So in 12 days I am 24, March 12th. The fact I’m turning 24 is scary in itself. So to honour another year I’ve decided to write small blog posts on what I’ve learnt in my life before turning 24 years young, things that I feel are really important for me, and maybe for you too!

So for Day 1 of 12 I wanted to talk about Self Love and Self Care.

Self love and self care is something that can be really difficult for different people. As someone who is anxious as hell, I found that I spent a lot more time worrying about my friends, family and work than I did myself. I didn’t realise how much this can affect you if you don’t just sit down and take time for you.

I realised I needed to start taking time for myself half way through my final year of uni about 2 years ago. I was so overwhelmed with my dissertation, my girlfriends, living with 12 people, I also lived with my boyfriend and worked throughout, as well my friends from work. It was really full on and I didn’t realise until 7/12 flatmates moved out, this was due to being international students living with us for 3 months, that I hadn’t actually stopped since getting to uni in September. I started getting back from my morning shifts at work and lectures at university and spending the afternoon/some time on my own, watching TV, reading my book, just getting that me time. I felt like after this I enjoyed my time with my friends a whole lot more. I’d had that time to myself, time to relax and re-charge and you forget that you need that time. I also really felt that it helped my productivity in the library, at work and also generally as well.

It made me realise, ‘Hang about, I’m onto something here‘.

Then we moved out of uni and I still wanted to be able to keep this up and do this for myself. I really got into reading again, which I still am now if you’re a follower of my blog! I moved back in with my parents and with my boyfriend (we were only due to be there for a year before we moved to Australia, but COVID happed about halfway through our year. Goodbye flights to Australia). I wanted to make sure I still had my me time especially with a new lifestyle and job. A long shower, a quiet evening with my book, catching up on my favourite TV shows and taking time away from my phone was still an essential. I still to this day ensure that I do these things and it has been SO Beneficial to me.

I feel like it is so SO important to remember to do these things for yourself. Do things that help you switch off and wind down, at the end of the day, You are the biggest love of your life. My motto I say regularly. You NEED to listen to what your body is telling you, rest your mind if its running 100mph. Rest your body if you’re running literally everywhere. Say NO to going out if you aren’t feeling it, get in bed early, stay up late and binge watch your shows. Do what makes you feel happy and comfortable and recharged.

Write yourself a self care checklist and do it all in your own time. When you are enjoying your own time there is no pressure of everything around you, there’s just you. You only have to please yourself. For me my favourite things are to exercise or go for a walk, I love to sit and read my book and in doing so switching off from my phone at the same time. I LOVE a hot and long shower. I also every morning read positive affirmations! Positive affirmations hold a lot of importance for me. I read 4/5 every day and share the ones I feel I can apply in my day but also so others can see them and hopefully think the same!

Take the time for you, look after yourself physically and mentally. Like I said, you are the biggest love of your life and nothing can change that , no person you’re in a relationship with or your friends and family. You’ve only got one body, heart and brain in this life, cherish it and look after you. Be selfish, it’s absolutely fine to do so. You are a God/Goddess, don’t let anyone tell you otherwise.