Day 10 of Life Lessons Learnt before turning 24, todays lesson; Keep going. Whether it’s for you, for your family, for you future. Keep pushing your limits. Keep moving.
What does this mean?
For me, I feel this means don’t stop what you’re doing, don’t stop following your dreams, don’t stop getting by in life because you are doing the best you can. Keep going. Try things out of your comfort zone, or don’t? Try different methods for different things, focus on your aspirations and your dreams, what can you do to get there? Keep going through the motions to do so.
And don’t let anyone get in the way of your journey. Keep moving, keep trundling by especially if things are slow moving for you. But don’t give up. Keep those training wheels going even if your bum aches from the seat and your eyes are tired and your legs hurt and your brain is frazzled. Keep peddling.
Not every day is a bad day, but it’s totally fine to have bad days when you do. take a step back to recuperate instead of not doing that, and having to take 2 steps back to recover.
You can’t have sunshine without a little rain. Just keep persevering, keep going and keep pushing. And hey, you never know where pushing your limits can take you? The world is your oyster. Take advantage of that, keep your training wheels going. You never know, they might come off and you’ll be out there dirt biking over hills and doing mad stunts.
What I’m trying to say is, don’t give up. Keep going, even when the going gets tough. As they say, the tough get going.
So day 9 is upon us, what do I have to say to that? You can’t please everyone. Thats the lesson learnt for day 9.
What does this mean?
For me being the anxious person I am I find I focus a lot on making other people happy, and when this doesn’t happen or I feel like this hasn’t happened, I worry I’ve upset someone/said something wrong and I honestly fester on it for days and days worrying about it. The thought of even making someone feel this way makes me feel so defeated in everything I want to stand for.
BUT, I also realised that this really wasn’t healthy for me to obsess about it the way that I do. It actually really became an issue for me.
At the end of the day. I am going to do things in my life that not everyone might agree on. Whether it be decisions made for work, for going back to university, where I live, the way I live my life, my small habits etc. Realistically, it’s my life. I can live it any way I choose, and although I love to have other people in mind when I do things. I can’t always please everyone or make everyone happy because everyone has such different standards and expectations to mine.
And this is okay.
It’s just really nice to remind myself that every now and then I might piss someone off, but I’m okay with it because as long as I’m happy, its their problem not mine.
Day 8 of Lessons I’ve Learnt before turning 24! Day 8 is all about making sure you remember to show and tell your friends and family you love them.
What does this mean?
I feel like this is so so important. Show your friends and family how much you appreciate them, care for them, love them, how much you miss them if you’re far away from each other and how much you can’t wait to see them soon. Make plans with these people because they are SO important in your life. Sat doing nothing for an hour or so? Call your loved ones, text your loved ones, FaceTime them.
Make sure they know about it.
You never know when it might be the last time you see them or speak to them and that has always stuck in my mind. Hug and kiss your family goodbye, tell your friends you love them before you go somewhere or they go somewhere. Make the last words before you leave them count. But also make the time you’re with them count as well.
A lot of people in your life come and go, but it doesn’t mean it has to be in vain or a bitter situation. Burn bridges and don’t leave sour tastes in peoples mouths. I’m a firm believer of treat others how you wish to be treated. If you’re kind, people have no reason to be anything untoward to you. Also consider other peoples feelings. Even if you aren’t the biggest fan of someone, you don’t need to be hostile or awful to them. Don’t lower yourself and do that. Be the bigger person.
Tell your loved ones that you love them. They might know it, but maybe they need to hear it too.
So we have reached the halfway point, only 6 days until I am 24! So here is day 6 of Lessons I’ve Learnt before turning 24. You do not need to justify your actions and your choices to ANYONE.
What does this mean?
Your life is your life. You make your own decisions because of how they impact you and no one should question your decisions otherwise. They don’t know you or your situation, what you’re going through and possible repercussions. No one else can dictate the choices you make in life other than yourself and not only that, you do not need to explain these choices to anyone.
For example like Day 5, the post was on saying yes, but also saying no. AND YOU DO NOT NEED TO JUSTIFY WHY YOU SAY EITHER. Especially no. People always need a reason as to why the word NO has come out from your lips. Why? Again I can understand this experience is fully situational. If you feel your friends and family warrant an explanation then give it to them in a way you feel fit. If you want to say no to something and not have to explain the causes because it’s personal, then thats that. No one should force you to speak out otherwise about things you don’t want too, just to justify to them why you said no to seeing them or doing something with them. And as your friends or family they should understand that anyway.
You do not need to justify your actions.
If you are doing something because it is right for you. Get out there and do it. People keep telling me I’m wasting my time looking at going back to university to study Crisis and Disaster Management as a masters. But I feel it is right for me. I don’t need to say anything more than that because I do not need to justify to anyone why I feel it is the right path for me. I am doing it for me. Not for anyone else.
Day 6 of Lessons I’ve Learnt in the run up to 24, Say Yes, but not to everything. But also, It’s absolutely okay to say no.
What does this mean?
I find that a lot of the time when people ask me to do something I will jump straight away and say yes, because why not? Live and let live, enjoy your life and go out and have fun with everyone and everything life has to offer. BUT, from saying yes so much it can cause you to completely burn out. You don’t have to say yes to everything and thats okay. Friends invite you for drinks but you’re mentally exhausted and also can’t afford it. They tell you they’ll pay for your drinks for you. Thats really lovely and all, but you can still say no. You have to think about number one, and that is you.
It is okay to say no. Say it with me. IT IS OKAY TO SAY NO.
SAY IT LOUDER FOR THE PEOPLE IN THE BACK.
Being a yes person is really nice and exciting because you do so much and see so much, but its absolutely okay to say no as well. You need to take time to yourself and do other things for yourself. This links back to Day 1 explaining how important self care is. They all interlink in some small way or another.
I also know that sometimes it isn’t that easy. Some people get a little off with you or a little funny with you when you say no, and honestly? Fuck these people. It’s something they have to come to terms with themselves. But I also understand at the same time it is situational. If you say no to something thats been planned for week, then yes I can appreciate there will be backlash from it. But at the same time, it’s something I’m sure would be taken into consideration before the decision is made.
At the end of the day, You have to think about what you want out of it and how you’re feeling! If you’re down, say yes, if you’re not, say no.
And the best part? You don’t have to justify why either (but thats for Day 6).
Day 4 of Lessons I’ve Learnt before turning 24 is to pursue your passions and wants, try new things, even if the passion and want only lasts for a day.
What does this mean?
If you want to do something, do it. You feel like starting a bullet journal? Do it, and if you start doing it and decide it isn’t for you, at least you tried hey? I think thats the most important thing, you don’t know until you try. I decided I wanted to learn French again and I’ve been at it ever since lockdown one and I was really passionate about it from the start. I’m very lucky that I’ve continued this passion and worked to learn more french!
BUT It doesn’t always work out that way and thats absolutely fine, life is all about trial and error. If you want to try and write a book with your passion of writing but you get started and you aren’t enjoying yourself or the process, at least you sat down and gave it a damn good shot.
You never know what you could get from your passions and wants, if could really turn out for the best. Take blogging and myself for example. I wanted to write and I never thought I’d ever get this far or have been blogging for this long. Try these things. Introduce something new into your life that you’re unsure about until you do it.
It could bring you on such an adventure you never even knew you wanted or needed to go on.
Day 3 really closely coincides with Day 2. Day 2 was that everyone is on their own journey in life, including yourself, and not to be so hard on yourself and where you’re at . Day 3 resonates closely with day 2 because the lesson I’ve learnt in partner with this is that where you are at in life does NOT define who you are.
So what does this mean?
For me, the fact I am not currently in a career I want to be in doesn’t make me lazy, demotivated or not driven. People will try to judge you based on where you’re at in your life and might even compare you to where they’re at. I hate the elitism that comes with this. Friends saying they’ve got more money than me because they work harder and earn more. Good for you for starters, thats amazing. But so what? Because I earn less than you or am working less hours doesn’t mean I’m anything less of a person with goals and aspirations.
Im currently sat in my hotel job and I can only imagine people think I’m still in it because I want a cushty life. For starters, there nothing cushty about working in hotels and I’m sure everyone who’s done it will tell you. Customer service is a BITCH. But, I’m also a bad bitch. I’m still in this job because it works for me right now. It doesn’t define me as a person who’s settles for the sake of it. In fact, it doesn’t define me at all.
Just because you want what you want doesn’t define you. Just like what others want doesn’t define them.
Another one of my personal favourites is, “So you still haven’t made it to Australia then?,” Uh, there is currently a global pandemic happening, so if you could tell me how you expect me to be there right now I’d appreciate that a lot. What I don’t appreciate is the judgement that comes with it. I’m a bum who doesn’t want to work and that BAFFLES ME. I want to EXPLORE, there is SO MUCH MORE to life than sitting at a desk every day, and yeah it might make you happy but it won’t make me happy! And that DOESN’T DEFINE ME AS A PERSON.
I can be hardworking without the aspiration goals of working 70+ hour weeks or the typical norm of what is seen to be right. I feel this lesson can be very person specific and situational, and I feel that it is not my aspirations in life an my goals that define me as a person because My personality does that for me. And when you meet me you can take from that what you will. But don’t ever judge me based on what I want in life, and don’t let anyone ever do the same to you.
On day 2 of Lessons Learnt before turning 24, Everyone does life at their own pace, you don’t need to go any faster or slower. You are your own person.
What does this mean?
I know for a lot of people my age when you look around you all of your friends are at different stages in their life. Some have started a full time career in their dream jobs, others have jobs that are seeing them through for now, some have hopped on a plane never to return, or maybe to return but no idea when, some have houses, a mortgage, nice cars, even nicer lifestyles you could only dream about, and some even have children. I found this whole thing really, really intimidating. It made me wonder if I am at a successful place in my life. But so many people have also said to me that your story is your own, and
right now you’re exactly where you’re supposed to be.
It doesn’t matter about anyone else and what or how they’re doing in their journey. You’re on a different path, and that is SO important to keep in mind.
I want a career in Crisis & Disaster management or Hotel Management, I want to travel the world, come back and get a house and get my career going, get a dog and worry about children later. Thats ME. I shouldn’t need to look at others and look at my life and compare because it isn’t healthy. I didn’t want to start my career before I left for Australia because I was afraid I’d never go if I did. AND THAT IS OKAY. That’s okay if i’m behind my friends in kicking off my career. At the end of the day I’m totally happy where I am in my life and with what I’m doing. I know what I want, and I’ll go for it when I’m ready or it will come to me when the time is right.
And thats something I believe is important for everyone to remember. Don’t compare your life to others, you’re on your own journey figuring out your life in your own way, on your own path and ON YOUR TERMS. Don’t let anyone dictate you or tell you where you need to be. They’re not in control of your life. You are.
So embrace where you are now. Things can change so quickly, especially with how the world is right now. So just enjoy where you’re at, in the words of Zayn Malik’s twitter bio;
Just close your eyes and enjoy the rollercoaster that is life.
So in 12 days I am 24, March 12th. The fact I’m turning 24 is scary in itself. So to honour another year I’ve decided to write small blog posts on what I’ve learnt in my life before turning 24 years young, things that I feel are really important for me, and maybe for you too!
So for Day 1 of 12 I wanted to talk about Self Love and Self Care.
Self love and self care is something that can be really difficult for different people. As someone who is anxious as hell, I found that I spent a lot more time worrying about my friends, family and work than I did myself. I didn’t realise how much this can affect you if you don’t just sit down and take time for you.
I realised I needed to start taking time for myself half way through my final year of uni about 2 years ago. I was so overwhelmed with my dissertation, my girlfriends, living with 12 people, I also lived with my boyfriend and worked throughout, as well my friends from work. It was really full on and I didn’t realise until 7/12 flatmates moved out, this was due to being international students living with us for 3 months, that I hadn’t actually stopped since getting to uni in September. I started getting back from my morning shifts at work and lectures at university and spending the afternoon/some time on my own, watching TV, reading my book, just getting that me time. I felt like after this I enjoyed my time with my friends a whole lot more. I’d had that time to myself, time to relax and re-charge and you forget that you need that time. I also really felt that it helped my productivity in the library, at work and also generally as well.
It made me realise, ‘Hang about, I’m onto something here‘.
Then we moved out of uni and I still wanted to be able to keep this up and do this for myself. I really got into reading again, which I still am now if you’re a follower of my blog! I moved back in with my parents and with my boyfriend (we were only due to be there for a year before we moved to Australia, but COVID happed about halfway through our year. Goodbye flights to Australia). I wanted to make sure I still had my me time especially with a new lifestyle and job. A long shower, a quiet evening with my book, catching up on my favourite TV shows and taking time away from my phone was still an essential. I still to this day ensure that I do these things and it has been SO Beneficial to me.
I feel like it is so SO important to remember to do these things for yourself. Do things that help you switch off and wind down, at the end of the day, You are the biggest love of your life. My motto I say regularly. You NEED to listen to what your body is telling you, rest your mind if its running 100mph. Rest your body if you’re running literally everywhere. Say NO to going out if you aren’t feeling it, get in bed early, stay up late and binge watch your shows. Do what makes you feel happy and comfortable and recharged.
Write yourself a self care checklist and do it all in your own time. When you are enjoying your own time there is no pressure of everything around you, there’s just you. You only have to please yourself. For me my favourite things are to exercise or go for a walk, I love to sit and read my book and in doing so switching off from my phone at the same time. I LOVE a hot and long shower. I also every morning read positive affirmations! Positive affirmations hold a lot of importance for me. I read 4/5 every day and share the ones I feel I can apply in my day but also so others can see them and hopefully think the same!
Take the time for you, look after yourself physically and mentally. Like I said, you are the biggest love of your life and nothing can change that , no person you’re in a relationship with or your friends and family. You’ve only got one body, heart and brain in this life, cherish it and look after you.Be selfish, it’s absolutely fine to do so.You are a God/Goddess, don’t let anyone tell you otherwise.